The Van Niel Family Adventures: Touch a Truck - Benefiting Max's Ring of Fire

We attended Touch a Truck today. As we entered the high school where the event was taking place I could already feel myself getting chocked up. Max was a little boy that attended the same elementary school as my oldest Kaleb. He was a darling little boy who was battling an extremely rare cancer and by second grade Max lost the fight. His death impacted so many in our community. And although I only knew Max and his family in passing at school I have forever been touched by his light.

Attending the event really got me thinking about so much. The first thing that crossed my mind was the question of how on earth a parent could endure the pain of losing a child? To me it's unfathomable and overwhelming to even imagine. The closest that I could relate to is Nathaniel's birth and just how that very instant I first saw his fragile tiny body being kept alive by so many machines I had been convinced that he was not going to make it. And in some weird way I had at best prepared myself for it to happen. Anytime, doctors came in to check on me or when the phone rang I had though I was ready. But the reality was that if anything were to happen to my baby I would have lost a big piece of my heart. Once that though left my mind I shifted to thinking how eternally grateful I was that he did make it. That though he is small in size and may not like to eat (a huge battle for me) that he's still perfectly happy, healthy and totally perfect.

Then of course it made feel guilty of the few (and I really mean few ) times I have gotten frustrated or impatient with my little ones. How dare I get frustrated or impatient when I should be loving on and cherishing every single moment I have with them.

So, as I walked around the school campus and experienced the vendors, the different cars, trucks and vehicles that were there I started promising to myself that even when I'm sleep deprived from feeding Nathaniel throughout the night, and even when he has thrown up for the 5th, or 6th time, or even when Olivia has accidents during the middle of the night, or even when Kaleb doesn't "get" his homework to even then cherish my little ones. To always remember every single day, every hour and every minute that my children are a gift from God. That I am so lucky to have them. That they are super precious to me!

Thank you Max for the light you have shined upon my light.