I'm so sad, and feel such a sense of loss of security. I feel like we are going to be missing a part of us - our first home. This house is full of so many memories like the birth of our daughter Olivia, bringing Olivia home, Kaleb's first day of Kindergarten, the loss of the baby after Olivia, Olivia's first steps, words, and Nathaniel's too! Our countless summer walks, walking to see the horses, picnics in our yard, birthday parties, sitting in the jacuzzi, family celebrations, being pregnant with Nathaniel, losing more babies since Nathaniel, family movies and so on.
Reality has finally sinked in and now it's really true we have to be out of our home by August 21st.
The scariest part for me at this point is that we don't know where we are going to go. J.J. does not have a job. His heart's desire still is to find a college volleyball coaching position and it's been really hard for him to break into a new career even though he's had five years of coaching experience with high school teams.
I'm truly afraid of what the future holds. My heart is aching for the loss of our home and my head is spinning trying to figure out how we are going to make the future work. I feel like I've been on this hold pattern since JJ lost his job in September. I think the a few things have kept me sane, the one and most important thing is that I trust in the Lord and I know and hold dear to my heart his promises for those who believe and trust in him. The other is that I know that JJ is a very intelligent man, one of the reasons I fell in love with him. And without a doubt I know that he will take care of our family and figure something out. And once he does, he is going to be dang good at it and will be compensate for it.
And so the waiting continues. And the trusting, believing and fervent prayer. And the knowing that where ever we may end up our new place too will be filled with new memories.
Here are the pictures of our home when we first got the keys without any furniture and memories.
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