Family Favorites

Family Favorites
The love of a family is life's greatest blessing

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Bonfire in Oceanside with the Fassett's

Yay I'm so excited we got to check off one of our top "Summer To Do's" and it was just as fun as we'd imagined it would be!


We had a bonfire with one of our favorite family friends - The Fassett's.  We arrived in Oceanside beach the sun was still out, the wind was blowing a little bit but the setting was perfect.  We were right in front of the boats that were sailing.  


The first thing that got set out were the sand toys to keep the little ones busy while we set up.  I even brought our little play tent for the little kids to enjoy.  Angela's dad Opie took over the fire bit and roasted some delicious hot dogs in the fire pit.  The older kids ran off to look for crabs.  Carson, Cameron, Devin and Kaleb found a bucket full of crabs.  Kaleb was a bit cautious and stood back while the rest of the boys picked the crabs up and even posed for pictures.  The little kids played in the tent while the adults enjoyed nice conversation and relaxed around the fire pit.  After dinner we had S'mores for dessert.  Another check off our list.  They were so delicious that the kids devoured them.  Then the kids played in the sand, threw rocks into the bay, and played a game of football.  We had so much fun playing at the beach with our friends.  




Playing in the tent



Nut-nut

"Nut - nut and Nathaniel checking out the crabs



One of my besties - world's greatest mom


Crab hunting

My cuties

Devin, Cameron, Carson and Kaleb

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Feeding My Baby - My Perspective

I've been asked many times over, "why do you do it?"  Why do you still get up in the middle of the night and feed Nathaniel.  You should let him cry it out.  He will learn eventually that if he gets up and cries that you won't feed him and he'll fall back asleep.  I usually just nod my head and respond well he is so little (in size) and he needs to eat.  And at that moment i can see that people just don't understand.  They look at my funny and I know they think I"m nuts.  But my reality and perspective is so different from the average persons.  

My reality is this...all three of my babies were instantly taken from me at birth.  I never got to hold them and coo over how amazingly perfect they were made.  I never got to have them in my hospital room with me, or take them home when I was discharged from the hospital. I had to always ask nurses or doctors for permission to touch them. In a way I feel like I was robbed of those special precious bonding moments. Moments that for so long I've been trying to claim back. Having these experiences makes something in you change.  It has made me realize daily what a beautiful blessing and true miracle my babies are.  


I spent a total of 243 days watching my babies in the NICU go through and experience many ups and downs of being born prematurely and underdeveloped in the NICU.  During this extremely hard time my heart was  extremely hurt. Especially my first time around when I had Kaleb the going through the hospital parking lot I saw women carrying their precious bundles out of the hospital and I just went home empty handed.  I can remember when the babies were still in the hospital and I was home getting up in the middle of the night pumping in tears. Alone. No baby. Just an emptiness. And I remember promising myself to cherish every moment once they were home especially the nights because I finally had them home.

Because of their premature births and the five miscarriages I've had my heart has been completely transformed.  So even after 2 years of getting up every three hours to feed Nathaniel I feel no resentment, nor feel any extreme exhaustion,  on the contrary I cherish the time we get to spend alone.  He holds me tight and I look into his eyes and get to marvel at the beauty and miracle in my arms.  

I realize that this phase will be such a short time and I want to embrace it. I want to choose to embrace the feedings. It will be gone in a blink...and one day I imagine I will be looking at my big 18 year old Nathaniel and will give anything to be rocking and snuggling him in the wee hours of the night.

Icey Fun in the Summer and Other Creatures

Today was a perfect summer day!  We all got to do something we love.  We spent the morning at the San Diego Zoo checking out Kaleb's favorite animals - the snakes.  





Then we had lunch together followed by delicious soft serve ice cream cones.  Olivia's cone was bigger than her but she managed not to make a mess of herself.  After our sweet treats we walked Kaleb over to the Science Center for Solar Systems and Beyond camp which he will be attending all week.  He loves learning about the planets and thus far is having a great time at camp.  

The we headed to Olivia's favorite The Natural History Museum. Nathaniel and Olivia played at the new Polar exhibit where they dressed up and played penguins.




They slid down ice glaciers.




Crawled in polar bear dens  
polar bear asleep 


and explored the exhibits.



Then we headed back to Nathaniel and my favorite place the zoo.  We visited the children's petting zoo where Olivia made a new best friend.   She was not afraid to get too close.  In fact, one of the keepers released a cylander full of snacks for the goats and sheep to enjoy and guess who was in the middle of the pack?  I was afraid she was going to get trampled by the animals yet she thought it was so fun to get pushed around by them.   



Nathaniel enjoyed petting them too.  


We then picked up Kaleb from camp and headed over to the Fassett home for some fun friend time and dinner.  Angela cooked a delicious steak dinner and we had ice cream sundaes for dessert.  The kids (8 total kids) played while Angela and I had a nice time chatting.  

What a perfect day! 

  

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Our House has Sold

I'm nearly in tears writing this post because I have such mixed emotions about the news.  Our house has sold and we are in escrow beginning Monday.  I don't even know what the right feelings are supposed to be in this type of situation but do know what I'm currently feeling.  


I'm so sad, and feel such a sense of loss of security.  I feel like we are going to be missing a part of us - our first home.  This house is full of so many memories like the birth of our daughter Olivia, bringing Olivia home, Kaleb's first day of Kindergarten, the loss of the baby after Olivia, Olivia's first steps, words, and Nathaniel's too!  Our countless summer walks, walking to see the horses, picnics in our yard, birthday parties, sitting in the jacuzzi, family celebrations, being pregnant with Nathaniel, losing more babies since Nathaniel, family movies and so on.  


Reality has finally sinked in and now it's really true we have to be out of our home by August 21st.  


The scariest part for me at this point is that we don't know where we are going to go.  J.J. does not have a job.  His heart's desire still is to find a college volleyball coaching position and it's been really hard for him to break into a new career even though he's had five years of coaching experience with high school teams.
I'm truly afraid of what the future holds.  My heart is aching for the loss of our home and my head is spinning trying to figure out how we are going to make the future work.  I feel like I've been on this hold pattern since JJ lost his job in September. I think the a few things have kept me sane, the one and most important thing is that I trust in the Lord and I know and hold dear to my heart his promises for those who believe and trust in him.  The other is that I know that JJ is a very intelligent man, one of the reasons I fell in love with him.  And without a doubt I know that he will take care of our family and figure something out.  And once he does, he is going to be dang good at it and will be compensate for it.  
And so the waiting continues.  And the trusting, believing and fervent prayer. And the knowing that where ever we may end up our new place too will be filled with new memories.  
Here are the pictures of our home when we first got the keys without any furniture and memories.   










Saturday, June 25, 2011

Recreating Memories - Feeding Horses

One of Olivia's favorite pastimes from about 18 months till after Nathaniel came home from the hospital was to walk down past our greenbelt, through the canyon to the horse stables to feed the horses.  Since, I'd been feeling so nostalgic remembering all the wonderful blessings we've had since living in our house I suggested a walk down to feed the horses and Olivia was thrilled.  This was the first time Nathaniel has come see the horses.  He loved petting them and imitating all the sounds the horses made.  Olivia was in girly heaven.  She even got to feed a horse a special snack.  As we were walking back home she told me that she was gonna ask her daddy to buy her a horse so she can ride.  What a fun treat to be able to recreate some special memories and also share them with Nathaniel.



The love for these beautiful creatures begins


And she rides

And rides and falls in love


Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Vacation Bible School - Olivia


This week Olivia and I have been super blessed to be attending our church's Vacation Bible School (VBS).    It's a week long camp from 9-12 where kids learn about God, the bible, do crafts and play games.  I decided to serve the church and kids by volunteering to be a crew leader.  I was placed in Olivia's group.  It has been such a blessing I have five kids in my group and they are all super sweet and want to learn but the greatest of the blessings for me is to start my morning worshiping God.  It gives me so much energy, and perspective even when things are rough.

Adam, Olivia, Owen, Claire, Taylor, me and Panda Pete

Craft decorating bags to feed the hungry



Games Jonah, Jonah


Craft making panda drums

Snack time with friends Olivia, Charlotte, Kelly and Sienna
Olivia has been enjoying the program, making new friends and sharing her mommy as the teacher.