Today we spent the morning at Cottonwood Park in Encinitas. It was amazing to get some focus time with my little ones. I got to play and watch them enjoy the outdoors. We've had so much stress with all that we have going on with the house cleaning, prepping for showings, and open houses etc that unfortunately a good portion of my day is spent just trying to keep up with the house and not playing much. It's been so hard on me because my favorite part of being a stay at home mom is the teaching, coming up with activities, and playing together.
And today as I watched my little ones play freely at the park for several hours I could not help but meditate about how blessed I've been for the last four years to be a stay at home mom. During these last four years I've had the privilege of playing, teaching, watching, feeding, signing, and loving on my babies. This has been the greatest gift that I could receive from J.J. And this gift has benefited my children so much. The kids and I have such a strong relationship together. I know my children so well including their feelings, desires, and fears. And during this moment I just prayed that God will ignite a desire in J.J.'s heart to want to provide for us, that he blesses him with a job that continues to allow me to be a stay at home mom. I prayed that my children wont have to raised by a childcare center, or have to be placed in after school care. I know that no one can do as good as job as I at raising my children. No one can possibly come close to loving them as much as I love them. And no job could ever give me the satisfaction that raising my children has given me. I love my children so very much and I enjoy the hard days, the chaos, noise, dirty diapers, cleaning bums, attitude, tantrums, just as much as I enjoy watching them slide, climb, play in the mud, learn and discover and all the encounters of the day to day of motherhood. I pray that God grants me this desire of my heart.
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